A bittersweet day

Today was one of the longest days in history for me. Last night my dad took Stephen for me, overnight. I woke up at 4am and had to take hubby to his job, in daytona, I needed the car so that I could go to a fall festival in Sanford at a church that my family are huge members of. I had a ton of errands to do between 4am and 10am, when I left. After all my errands were done I headed over to Sanford to meet up with my dad and stephen and enjoy some fall funtivities. I got there early, and could spend some time with grandma, I'll tell you about that later.

Stephen and dad got there, they had bouncing things outside, and some activities. They had a huge meal, homemade yummy stuff. We ate till our bellies were full, and Stephen had a BLAST on the jumpy thingy.

My two aunts were there, my grandma, my uncle, cousin, dad and stepmom, so it was nice to spend time with my family. They live closer than my dad, but I don't get to see them as much.

I really don't feel like typing much, so I will just get to it. As fun as today was, it was shadowed by darkness. Lemme tell you about my grandma. She is absolutely wonderful. I love her. Some of my favorite memories growing up were spending some time at her house with her, listening to Elvis and reading to the wee hours of the night. I get my reading from her. I remember we used to lay in the twin beds in her room, our heads where our feet should go, reading till daylight. I can't even really explain in words how I feel about her, I loved my visits with her, they were always so fun, she is my grandma, I will never have another like her. So let's fast-forward to today.

The conversation that I had with my grandma had rocked me to the core. We had some time alone before all the crazy fun started, to talk. She told me that she's not doing so well. That she was having a hard time breathing, and her doctor thinks that she has a clogged valve in her heart. She's gone through countless numbers of surgeries for similar things, and has had a lot of health problems. She's done all that and bounced back. When she started telling me this, I fully expected her to tell me she'll have surgery again and be back to her normal wonderful self. Instead she told me that she's tired, she's 83, has gone through a lot of surgeries and doesn't feel she can do another one. I know she's had a very long hard life, and it was fulfilling. She's been able to meet and spend time with a bunch of grandchildren, and a great-grandson, and another great-grandchild on the way. She just explained that she cannot go through another surgery. She has a procedure scheduled for Tuesday that will tell more about what is going on with her, and maybe give a prognosis. It took every ounce of effort to sit there and not burst out sobbing. It took every effort not to get on my knees and beg for her to do the surgery, because she's my grandma, my only living grandparent I have left, and I selfishly am NOT ready to give her up. I understand that she's tired, and I respect her wishes, and that she has decided this, and decided to tell everyone so that we can prepare. I always knew I wouldn't get to keep her forever, but how do you prepare for this? I can't prepare for her death, the thought of going to her funeral and seeing her lying in a coffin scares the pants off me. I wanted to call my husband and tell him I was moving to Sanford for the time being, I want to spend every waking moment I can with her. I know that I can't, I have responsibilities and a family of my own. I'm hurting, for her, for my family, and for myself, for Stephen for only knowing her a short time, and for my possible future children who might not get to know their great-grandmother. I hope that with medication and everything, she will be able to live longer, a few more years at least, but as much as I cannot say it out loud, and it hurts to even type it, I don't think I'll get to have my grandma much longer.

I'll end this now, with a picture we got today, four generations, my grandma, my dad, me and Stephen. And then I'll go to bed, and wake up tomorrow, and I'll be okay, it will be okay, and tomorrow is Halloween and I'm sure it will be a big busy day for me.

The first big holiday is in full bloom!

We don't have seasons here in Florida, but we make do with festivities. Halloween is here, it's coming up Sunday, and I woke up this week and the first thought in my head 24/7 was omg holy eff..what the heck..sunday! and went into full time panic mode. And a lot of it was geared toward the fact that omg..SUNDAY! and we have NO pumpkin, no baking smells in the air, and with no car..NO way to get that stuff until Saturday..and trying to find a pumpkin the day before Halloween is like trying to get the #1 selling toy for Christmas on Christmas Eve.

I have a friend I met at the bus stop for our kids, her name is Michelle, she and her family are going through rough patches, but I think she's cool as heck. Yesterday she came through for me in a big way. She became my chauffeur. She took me to Amscot to get a cash advance cause bills just screwed me over for my festivities. She took me to Publix to get a pumpkin and baking goods. (we have no pumpkin patches here, just church lawns and ridiculously overpriced pumpkins) I walked out of publix with a $5.99 pumpkin that's HUGE and beautiful. And a cart full of things like bittersweet chocolate and cheese.

Soon as I got home from shopping, I set to work. Cleaned up the kitchen, put the pumpkin on the table at the ready for carving, and started baking. I picked out two recipes that come from one of my favorite magazines All You (GREAT source for coupons BTW if you are a fanatic like me) that changed to three recipes when I decided dinner would be festive as well. Baked one cake, which requires a day of being in the fridge, then started on another, when OMG I don't have a 9 inch cake pan! and I can't substitute because it HAS to be round. So Michelle came through again..and brought me a pan to borrow. I took a break because it was 5pm, and I had to worry about dinner, rather than dessert. I made the cutest quesadillas. Jack O'Lanteren style. I altered the recipe a lot because it calls for cheese that my kid would barf at. The spicy one.. Pepper-jack cheese. that's all the recipe consisted of, so I omitted that one, and substituted with Monterrey Jack and Cheddar. For the adults I added Steak/Chicken. The results were yummy.

You can't really see it that well, the camera lighting situation sucked.

After dinner, I commenced with the baking. And the Carving commenced as well at the table. When I had my hands on the seeds, I baked the seeds. And finished up the night with a HUGE mess, but a baked cake, and baked seeds, and full bellies of Jack O'Lanterns. Plus a cake in the fridge ready for me to finish today.

These are called Candy Corn Wedges. They are supposed to resemble Candy Corn. They came out great, the icing was HARD to put on, it was very messy, so it didn't look good as the picture, but my hubby was VERY impressed, wants me to make more like that.

Here's some pictures of our carving.

The Chicken and Candy helping out.

Collecting all the seeds for mommy.

He wanted a pirate, but they were WAY too complex to do with kitchen tools and a printer. So we settled on a skull head.

Here's the results of my handiwork in the kitchen.

My messy work. These pictures were BEFORE I did the icing on the Candy Corn Wedges too..so it was even worse by the time I finished. I didn't want to take pictures of that:) My pumpkin seeds were in the middle picture.

(pictures of my cake in the fridge to come in about 5 hours).

I plan to do some sugar cookies (the Pillsbury kind, i'm tired of cleaning!) and when Stephen gets home from school, let him decorate them with the leftover orange/yellow/white icing that I have.

It was a satisfying day. I'm ready to bake some more.

A moment away from "Happiness"

A friend of mine on facebook has this in her photo album, and I felt compelled to use it. Recently its come to my attention that I am a horrible friend because I don't go visit, or call or email.. it was kind of a slap in the face because unlike this clipping, the friend also has a child. I've also been told by a family member in the past that I could pick up the phone and call more often.

I have so many things I'm feeling about this, because I find it highly unfair to judge me based on my lack of communication. One thing, I don't have my phone ringing off the hook, the phone works both ways. and I have a kid that loves talking on the phone, so if I attempt to make a personal call, or even a call to a bill collector, here comes my wonderful 5 year old trying to grab the phone out of my hand to talk to whoever, even if he doesn't know the person..you should see him when he DOES know the person. So most of the time if I want to have a uninterrupted phone call to someone to "chat" it usually has to be after his bedtime, and by that time, all I want to do is take a shower and wind down..So by the time I take care of that, it's late..and who wants a phone call at 9-10pm at night? My working friends and family are usually in bed by then, and my friends and family with kids usually have kids in bed by then. I would end up taking backlash at calling so late. I don't own a cell phone because we have no money to splurge on it, so I can't randomly call someone while I'm out walking my dog, or mopping the floor, which I can't anyways, because I just am not coordinated enough to talk on the phone and mop at the same time, I'll end up dropping the phone in the mop water. I can't even go to the bathroom in piece by myself, let alone sneak in there with a phone. And if you know me, even a little bit, you know that I just am NOT a phone talker. I hate the phone with a passion.

I do spend some time each day on facebook, but if I sat down and emailed or commented on every single friend and family member's facebook, it would take me all day. The house isn't going to get cleaned by itself, and dinner doesn't make itself, and errands and chores don't get done by magically wiggling my nose. And because I am at home, and my husband is working hard every day, I at least attempt each day to get something productive done, even if its just cleaning one room in the house, or doing every single piece of laundry, including folding and putting away. and I only have from 7:30am-2:00pm each day to do this, before my five year old comes home and demands every second of my time, unless I can find something to occupy him with, and him being a single child, with no children his age around here, except the 2 year old boy across the street, he doesn't have a playmate to play with, so mommy is it.

As for visiting..I live in the middle of nowhere, we are a one car family, with bills up the wahoo and one income coming in. Am I supposed to drop my life and my child to figure out how to take the votran on what usually would be a 45 minute drive in my car, instead turning out to be a 4 hour votran ride, just for a lunch? I've lived in this house for one whole year now, and have yet to have a single visitor. I'm home all day, cooped up with no way to drive anywhere, even if I desperately need to go to a grocery store, why can't those mudslingers come visit me?

I was a single mother for a long time, and now I'm not, but my husband is away more than he's home, and when he's home, my time is spent running this household and trying to remember where he or my son put every single doodad and whatsit, preparing them for the next day, or just plain spending time with him. We are newly married still, we were only married in May, we haven't quite settled down into that boring routine where I might not want to spend every waking moment with him, and I hope we never do "settle down" like that, because I would hope that we can keep some sort of excitement in our lives. So while it's just a little bit easier for me to drop stuff and come running because I have a live in babysitter.. it's really not that much easier, it's harder. I have a family now, and as much as I enjoy spending time with friends and family, I can't just up and disappear whenever I'm called, it's unfair to my son, and it's unfair to my husband who works all day, gets up at 4am, get's home at 6pm and doesn't quite have the energy to deal with the nightly hassle of bathtime, story time and household stuff by himself. plus he works 45 minutes away, and we spend a million bucks a week on gas..I don't have the money for another 45 minute trip away and back.

All I'm saying is, family and friends are supposed to be there for you through thick and thin, I would hope that a little understanding, and patience would be expected. And realizing that sometimes there's just NOT enough time in the day to do everything plus stay on top of relationships. Life tends to get away from me. But surely is that enough reason to dismantle a friendship or cause a family feud?

It's been quiet.

It's been kinda quiet here lately. The days have been average..nothing too exciting..nothing too boring. my hubby is sick, so most of the time we have a easy night...he's miserable:( so i doctor him up with nyquil and put him to bed..then I tend to lay wide awake until the wee hours. today I made the mistake of taking a nap..because I woke up feeling miserable..so after I put stephen on the bus, I went back to bed for a few hours..i felt better when I woke up, but I still have a lingering headache. I don't know if it's allergies or what.

I finished one of the books I got in the mail..Blonde with a Wand. It was really good, I couldn't put it down. Definately a keeper, but I'd suggest reading her first few books first, it's not really a series, but two of the characters that were in her previous books showed up, so you have some background on the characters. I'm looking forward to her next book, it continues on with the story, the main character of Blonde with a Wand..her sister is featured in the next book. So this book was basically about a witch who was dating a guy who made her mad..she accidentally turned him into a cat. As a result, she lost her witch powers. For the next week, she had to figure out how to change him back without her powers. after a few days of being a cat, he was able to convert to human for a little bit a night. of course there was romance in it, but the book was really funny some parts had me cracking up.

I've started on The Phoenix Charm, had to take a break after Blonde with a Wand, another favorite author, Sherrilyn Kenyon came out with a new book in her Dark-Hunter series that I had to read. But I finished that one, so I'm starting on my other freebie. Only a few pages into it, but I think I will be enjoying this one too.

I've started actively Christmas shopping, browsing websites for ideas, and ebay of course. I put a bid on a few things. Someone is selling a bunch of childrens books that are Stage 1-4 in the reading catagory. Who knows if I will get it. Stephen is still going strong with his night time reading, he calls it "story time" it's really cozy, I lay down on his bed with him tucked against me listening to me and looking at the pictures. Plus he's learning to read, I'm hoping to instill the same love of books that I have, in him. I still want him to be all boy and tinker with things and sports and whatever, but at the same time, have respect for the written word. So maybe if I can win these books, and continue our new tradition of story time, it will help him not only to read, but to love to read, and also strengthen our bond. Even if I don't win them I still hope to be able to purchase a few books to give to him.

Just thought I'd check in..post a little bit.

Silence, EBay and a throbbing foot

**warning** punctuation doesn't exists in this post, nor does capitalization, so if you are a sucker for those things..sorry about your luck. its 2am and im waiting on tylenol pm to kick in*

This weekend was a busy one for me. Typical of the past few weeks, by the time friday rolled around I was ansy and ready to get out of the house. My poor husband who works long hours and has chronic insomnia and only averages maybe 2-3 hours of sleep at night..he takes the car during the day, leaving me stranded and cooped up..so I bite my lip when he gets home about wanting to go here and there, but usually by friday I can't take it anymore, I feel like im going to burst. He got bomboarded friday. and in all honesty I don't really remember what I did friday. LOL I remember we left Stephen in the care of our neighbor for 15 minutes, we hopped on his motorcycle and roared around for a few..that was fun.

Saturday we hit the streets, major errands..we left the house with a list of places we needed to see and do..and didn't end up going to any of them, except one..and by the time we got done with that place, I think we'd added a few places to our list. we drove the 45 minutes it takes to get into Daytona and went to the first place on our list. Home Depot. then from there we headed to the mall, but to our surprise they had a classic car show going on, but it wasnt really all classic old cars, there were some "dream" cars, like vipers and '11 mustangs, and supped up stuff. but I was all about the classic car..the "muscle" ones. and im partial to old style trucks, don't ask me why, I just am. and of course I went gaga over two cars that were replicas of the classic show "knight rider" my husband had drool over his chin the entire time and even stephen was getting into the spirit of things, it was a nice show. I wish I'd thought to bring my camera with me, but when we left the house we were just going to a few places. So after this show we went and browsed books a million, then petco and some other places.. by then it was hitting 5-6pm, we'd left the house early in the day too. my feet were tired from walking around and shopping and price checking for a project that jesse and I will be working on for stephen for christmas (we're building him a treasure chest/toy box)

Stephen, for being such a super kid, and being totally awesome with his listening skills while mommy and daddy were shopping and browsing..got to bring home a few fish. he helped daddy set up the tank, and put the decorations where he wanted them, and learned how to feed them, and what not to do with them. 24 hours later they are still alive. he wants to decorate his tank with pirate things (its just a small 10 gallon tank) so we started off wtih a cheap pirate figure and a few guppies. which he paid for with his own money (of course he'll get the money back when he does something good) we sat down and reached a agreement that each week or so, if he does all his chores, listens, and is good in school, he can get another pirate item to add to his fishtank. he's very excited about this project of his. here's to hoping that this will last more than a few days.

so today we ended up getting up and destroying our garage..totally took everything out, and swept and cleaned and reorganized and put things back in nice. i took pictures of some of the bigger things so I can list them on craigslist. I am exteremly tired, and very sore. my feet were killing me all day, i thought maybe it was a residue from walking yesterday, and being cooped up in the house I dont get much walking excercise as I did yesterday. but now its midnight and my ankle is THROBBING. its swollen and it hurts, every time I close my eyes i feel the hearbeat in the ankle. so I am online..christmas shopping of all things.

Stephens huge into story time now..we're starting to get out of the "rockababy" phase and we're entering the story time phase. every night i've read him a few books. my dad had gotten him a pirate adventure book thats part of a series, so im on ebay lookin to see if they have books 1-5. or anything else. I hope the story time phase lasts a long time. with his great grandmothers love for reading, and his mothers love for reading, I hope that gene gets passed down. he doesnt have to be a bookaholic like me..but i hope that he learns to love the adventures you can have in books.

ok im so going to bed now. night all

My kid is SUPER! I have proof!

I know..he's so frickin SUPER! I just LOVE that kid so much. I'm so glad that other people recognize and appreciate how wonderful he is, and I know that school is hard for him, and I know that he's trying VERY hard to keep afloat, and I'm just so darned proud of him for trying and I like that the teacher recognizes that he's trying so hard and that he's doing so good. Dang im going to cry again.

So my happiness post of the day..probably for the month.. my baby being super duper and having proof to show everyone just how super he is.

And to top that off, he got a good report card this week too! two in one! so.. I'm thinking we may have to dip into our accounts, and rearrange things, and maybe instead of paying so much towards something..I think I want to take him to a Pirate Adventure show in Orlando this weekend, if not this weekend then maybe next? I don't know..I will have to research it, I believe that's a good reward for him, he loves pirates, and it's something personal that we can do as a family, to have the memories, and it's not as impersonal as candy or money or going to the dollar store for a toy. We may be hurting in the money department, but I feel that the two in one, plus he's been good for me at home, doing his chores and listening..he deserves a reward..and I think the memories he can carry with him for a lifetime, rather than a few days of a toy from the dollar store.

It's here! pt 2

So part 2 of my previous blog.

There's my happiness! A wonderful surprise in the mail..not one but two books..brad spankin new and one of the authors I enjoy! I also got two bookmarks for Nancy's book La Vida Vampire.. I'm very happy. I started reading Blonde with a Wand this morning.

Also part of my happiness of yesterday that's boiled over into today.. my dear husband brought me a surprise home also..he got me a mushy hallmark card, just cause..and a big chocolate bar (which i am eating right now) and a cream soda (my secret vice..i love cream soda!) and the soda was gone in five minutes flat.. so I got two surprises in one day, and both surprises are going to give me much happiness for today, so I am cheating, and using it for today's happiness too..unless something cool happens later.

Happy Friday everyone, enjoy the day and hope you guys have a wonderful weekend.

It's here!

A few days ago, if you look back or go here, I posted a blog about how I won a contest that was hosted by one of my favorite authors, Nancy Haddock. I was very happy to win. Today I got my prize in the mail, that turned out to be a even bigger surprise..I got TWO! yep, two books. I'm ecstatic. and both of them look awesome! One of them i'd heard of, Vicki Thompson, I read two of her books and enjoyed them, so I am for sure looking forward to this one, the other one by Helen scott Tayulor, never heard of her but it looks pretty good, I'll make sure after i am done reading them I post my review. But I have a feeling they will be good.

I can't upload the pictures to make this my happiness post, the service is down for picture uploads..I'll have to come back later to do it.

my heart just swells

Some of my influence seems to be sinking in to my husband. And my heart just swells with pride. He came home last night, all poofed up and proud..know why? He went to CVS to pick up his prescription, and managed to purchase some Excedrin. He somehow got ahold of a coupon and purchased a 5 dollar bottle of Excedrin for $1.97. I'm so proud of him.

Starting to think a lot about Christmas..I have been for a while now, but it's starting to really sink in that I only have X amount of days until Christmas. So I've been thinking about what my game plan will be for Christmas. We are low on money, I've been trying to stock away a little bit here and there to go towards it, but most of the time I end up dipping into the fund to pay for bills or other stuff, can't get around it. So I've been trying to think of creative things to do or get. I do know that I have a $25 gift certificate for toys r us..so I'll definately be getting something from there. We have dollar general down the road, but the problem is, most of their toys are crap and break after like 5 minutes of stephen time. They have a lot of stocking stuffer things though. I'm sure I will think of something. Maybe I'll sit down with Stephen tonight when he gets home and tell him to start writing a letter to santa, and get some idea of things that he likes. I know that he's obsessed with all things pirates right now. I did find a cute scooby doo plush toy on toys r us website that is dressed up like a pirate, I might get him that. Of course there's always good old ebay. love ebay.

ok im rambling, not much of anything to really blog about right now, but it's 8am, so the day is just starting, there's probably a good possibility that I will be blogging again later.

It's that time..a new milestone for me.

Stephen has reached his newest milestone. I am incredibly at loss for emotions right now, well scratch that, I have an incredible overload of emotions, that I can't definitely pick out one single emotion. Part of me wants to cry, the other part of me wants to dance around, the other part of me is kind of shellshocked that today as come finally.

It's report card day. My baby boy has completed his very first 9 weeks, and has received his very first report card, his very first official one. Complete with all the checks and pluses. and I can't figure out weather I should be celebrating or crying because it's a huge milestone.

In the name of saving money and tree's, the school no longer provides report cards, you have to get online to a "parent portal" and print it. It's sad because I have memories and momentos my teachers of old and principals always included a handwritten note to my mom, and my mom had the opportunity to write back to the teacher. I like the parent portal, because as he gets older, I can keep track of how he is as far as testing and attendance. It keeps track of everything from being tardy to behavioral issues. He won't be able to hide anything from me.

He did good, he's on level. There's a lot more checks than I'd like, but there's no zeros or I's. Plus signs mean that he demonstrates skills and concepts consistently..checks mean that he's still learning/developing those skills and concepts..zeros mean it's an area of concern, and I means it's in progress towards grade level proficiency in skills and concepts. While there's a lot more checks than I'd like, I am SO proud of my baby for trying so hard, his teacher says he's "on level" even though he's still behind more than she'd like for him to be.

I want to get out my first kindergarten report card and compare.

So.. I don't know if anyone actually reads my blogs, I hope so, but even if not, I enjoy writing them, and it's a good way to destress my life and put things in perspective. But if you are out there and do read them..I need opinions on how to do a reward system. I have no idea what the going rate on rewards for report cards are these days. Do I wait until the last 9 weeks and if he gets promoted to the 1st grade, reward him then? Do I wait until he's out of the checks and plus phases and goes on to the ABCDF phase? or each report card do I offer a reward? and how does one reward a bunch of checks and pluses? I have zero money to do anything exciting, but I feel like I should reward him somehow for his efforts. any opinions on the matter is appreciated.

alright.. not a happy post:P

having a very bad day..geeze. everything seems to be going against me. from the stupid car payment people getting on my case..to ugh. dont even wanna talk about the issue about my car. im so over those effin people.

OH but something interesting.. i had a cop come by to tell me to turn my music down. what the effin? he couldn't tell me who it was that called but i could clearly see which way his eyes were going..it's the same neighbors that called my landlord to complain about my septic tank. frickin picky people!? the guy rolled his eyes the entire time he was here, and was trying to tell me to turn the bass down but leave it up, he doesnt have a problem with music at the volume it was, just the bass was a little much..you could barely hear the bass so once the bass was off you wouldn't be able to hear it.. so i figured out a little bit ago, how to turn the bass off..but felt petty enough to be ruder. so just to be the bigger witch i opened my windows closer to her, and turned on my surround sound stereo in my bedroom, which is next to her house. and put on some obnoxious rock music. im sure my neighbor is steaming. I went outside and couldn't hear the music anywhere but by over by her house.

I got away from apartment's because of things like that, you would think that I could be able to listen to music in my own place?


I'll post a happiness post when I'm done being a total *itch and calm down.

Could a chicken be psychic?

I wasn't feeling well last night, bad digesting of last nights dinner I guess. So I pretty much pulled an all nighter. After a morning of dealing with the phone and hearing messages like "we're sorry all agents are helping other customers please try your call again later" and being online researching the ins and outs of unemployment, and getting more and more confused, I got a headache. So I decided to set my alarm and get a few hours of sleep while I wait for a load of laundry to wash.

I had the weirdest dream. It's fading now, but it took place in another time, back in the day. I wasn't in the dream, I was more of a fly in the wall. There was a man with two little boys, they had a dog, looked like a golden retriever. Buncha stuff happened, very faded now..but anyways..i remember the little town was falling apart, the people in charge of the town were corrupt, and all the profits and nice things went to them, leaving the citizens of the town left in the dust so to speak. So the place was falling a part, the citizens were unhappy with the leaders of the town..at one point..a big storm happened, and a building was going to fall down on a bunch of people, the little boys and the dog were in there..the dog was the one to alert of the start of the collapse..and pretty much saved the little boys.. the chicken started showing up in my dream right about then..so the building was going to collapse, the boys were upstairs..the dog warned them and they all ran out..and they all escaped. except the dog and the chicken..after the dust settled we saw the dog come out, with the chicken on its back. After a revolt led by a town prostitute (with petticoats and all) the current "mayor" was upheaved from his post after saying all the nice things that were being auctioned off to rebuild the town should be set aside (so he could have them) the prostitute became the town mayor. (flash back to the boys and the dog) the dog got hurt in the collapse, and we are sad and crying because the dog dies. The chicken lives, and pretty much takes the dogs place, playing with the boys in the lake, and all sorts of fun things.

I wake up at that point..the dream had ended, credits were rolling (literally. it was very weird) and who do I see sitting on my bed next to me, staring very intently at me? my chicken. When I started the nap she was sleeping peacefully out in the living room on a towel. All the sudden the chicken takes a big part of my dream (probably about the time she decided to waddle back to the room and stare at me) I wonder if she saw my dreams and was upset that she wasn't a part of them, and decided to insert herself into the dream? This wasn't the first time this happened.. it was just the first time i'd been aware of it. I've told jesse several times that I had weird dreams with the chicken in them, but I've never made the connection of if she was around when it happened. It's a food for thought.

Featuring ME! contest winner!

I know this seems like a silly thing to be insanely giddy happy about, but I just checked my email, cause I'm prone to 2 thousand junk mails a day, and if I don't keep on top of my email box it becomes like an insane jungle. So here I am at 12am reading my email. A few weeks ago I entered a contest hosted by a local writer who lives in St. Augustine. I'd picked up one of her books called La Vida Vampire at a outlet mall, started reading, and was hooked. I got her sequel now im very (impatiently) waiting on the third one to come out in May of 2011. I looked up the author online on the usual social sites, myspace and facebook and became a friend/fan of all her pages. Anyways, she hosted a contest where if you become a fan of her pages, and email her requesting to be in the contest, she would send you a free book of genre of your choice. I never win contests, but I enter them anyways with full hopes.

I got a email tonight, and here it is..

Hi Kimberly!

You are one of my 3 winners in the FB fan page drawing - and, wow! Thank you for being not only a fan/ friend on my "normal" page, but on all of them - and MySpace, too!

One paranormal romance coming up! Please send your mailing address, and let me know if the book needs to be packaged and/ or mailed in other than a normal US mail way. (As in marked as a gift for customs.)

Thank you again, and I hope you enjoy the book!

Light,
Nancy


lemme tell you, im one excited chick! I LOVE reading, and I LOVE authors that are close to their readers, and I love even more when I win a contest by one of my favorite authors. If you are looking to read a new author..and you like vampire type paranormal stuff..check out La Vida Vampire by Nancy Haddock. It's supremely awesome.

http://www.nancyhaddock.com/

so on that note, my happiness post..is about books! or in particular..a book. a great author. a email from her, and me being a contest winner! yay!

Sappy Happy

I think today is one of those days that you wake up with birds singing lovely songs, the sun is shining just right, the weather is perfect, and all in nature is together with harmony. It's one of those days that you wake up snuggly comfy in bed, and instead of grumbling and complaining about waking up (especially if you are woken up with a chicken on your shoulder squawking loudly cause she wants to go outside and roll in the dirt) you wake up with a wide smile, and all is right in the world. I'm like that today..the reason? My husband. My beautiful wonderful husband. I'm not even annoyed that he's taken up more than half the bed and all of the pillows and covers. Instead, I'm feeling incredibly blessed..very sappy..and very much in love.

My happiness post..of course..is going to be about my husband. sorry! last night, we had a very rare date night. My dad took stephen, so Jesse and I took advantage. And when I say advantage, I mean it. We took showers, I *gasp* shaved. I blowed my hair dry, got out the dusty straight iron, and the stale makeup, I put on a dress that was slightly too small cause apparently I've gained weight (weight watchers, here I come!) and got out the gut sucking garter type underwear. I put on nice shoes, and my husband dressed up, in the very same outfit that I met him in, just because..it's that outfit. We have been talking about going to this restraunt for a long time now, only it's pricey. He called ahead and asked if there's a wait (I live near daytona, and if you are familiar..its Biketoberfest right now..meaning there's thousands and millions of bikers from all over in town right now) they told him..no wait. so. We decided to head that way. Hubby, bless his heart, grabbed the camera, and we were off, stopping by the bank and then heading back home because of course we forgot something, i forgot what, but eh..we set out again..the entire time we were silly gilly and complimenting each other on how nice we look, laughing about stories that we told, and talking about things.

Him driving us to the restaurant.
So attractive I know, but he was snapping pictures left and right cause he wanted to capture me in all my hotness:)

A better shot. Man my hair looks long in this picture..is it really that long?


We get there, and no wait..sat down immediately. We had the most lovely dinner, we were that annoying couple in the booth that sit in the same side snuggling while we read the menu. We went all out and didn't worry about the price. I got some kind of combination dinner, with snow crab legs, and fish, and shrimp and scallops and crab cakes and oysters (ugh oysters..neither one of us like them, but we tried on together just the same) he got new york strip steak, it came with a salad buffet, and rolls and sweet rolls. Our waiter was totally gay, but totally awesome, and very funny. When our food came, Jesse sat on the other side of the booth because he "wanted to look at me" and oh. my. gawd. the food. The food, was..indescribable. So good. I wanted to eat every bite, even when my stomach was full to the popping point because face it..it's not the same the next day. The snow crab legs were awesome, this restaurant had the BEST butter ever (yeah mom..my picky butter habits..but this place was AWESOME! it was buttery and salty and just RIGHT) the scallops were scrumptious and there were NO words for the crab cakes. The oysters got tossed aside, the shrimp was wonderful, the fish was okay..not very fishy tasting, but not bland. His steak, (we both like our steak bloody and rare) was just right. One of the very few restaurant that cook steak like you ask. And lemme tell you, it was the best steak i have ever set teeth on. We shared our food, and got our doggie bags, paid for our meal, and left. Outside we met the nicest biker who was willing and agreeable to taking our picture. He was from NC and has been coming down here every year since 1996. That's motorcycle dedication.



I'm a total CVSaholic, I'm one of those annoying customers that goes to the register with several transactions, coupons up the wahoo, and gushing about paying .84 cents for something that normally costs 25 dollars. My husband, puts up with it, and sometimes enthusiastically joins in. On our very first date we actually went to a CVS. Well..tradition continues. He took me to CVS! I love that man. And he followed me around with a cart while I flitted here and there grabbing things off the shelf with my list in hand and coupons at the ready. when I was done shopping, we went up to the register, and it was late at night by then, so the cashier was okay with my many transactions, and cool about pushing coupons through that weren't up to par. He tolerated my many questions about "how many people do this!? do you get a discount?!" that sort of thing. I had a cart FULL of stuff. and Jesse even allowed me to take over his CVS card and do a transaction with his name. And off we went.

We decided since we're splurging..why not go all out and stop by blockbuster. (im telling you, if I haven't snagged the man already, between CVS and movies..I woulda totally told him I was going to marry him) we picked out movies..we got Jonah Hex, Iron Man 2, and Date Night. Figuring we'd end the perfect night with a snuggle and a movie.

We get home, unload our goodies, and decide that we're kidless, let's not stop there. We get our comfy clothes on, I washed my makeup off, and snuggled up in a sweater (kinda chilly, and we'd decided to go down to the river..the wind and everything will make it cold) we got our dog, and set off for the dock. We snuggled together on the bench, looked at the stars, and talked about how we're glad we found each other. Looking at the stars made me feel so small, the universe is so gigantic, we CAN'T be the only ones out here. Our dog went nuts, she always goes nuts on the dock..I don't know if its the sound of her clicking nails, or the water, or what, she was just running around and going in circles and it was cute. We got lots of pictures of tonight.





Our dog Candy..aka Kujo for the night


Eye seeee youuuu. Eye've got my eye on youuuuu. MWHAHAHAH





I was moving the camera up and down trying to look at the cool colors. it's wierd how he's so still but the lights were moving. it turned out pretty cool.








So we left the dock after a while, came home, opened all the windows and turned the AC off cause it was nice and chilly, and snuggled up in bed with our movies. It was the perfect night, very relaxing, and with all the reminders of why I fell in love with him in the first place.

My new role model

I've found my newest hero. For those that know me, know that I love dolphins, might have even seen the post I posted a week or two ago about watching the movie "The Cove" ever since that movie, I sign whatever petition I can, and actively read Ric O'Barry's blog here, I go to his website here.

Today I went on and read his blog, and saw him mention someone else was over in Taiji. Shes a racecar driver for NASCAR, her name is Leilani Münter, she shot pictures of a slaughterhouse. Ric mentioned her blog, so of course I followed up with it..and she's totally my hero. Not only is she a NASCAR driver, she's a total tree hugger. She's gorgeous, and from all appearances, is a really nice down to earth person that happens to care about the environment. Check out her site here shes part of "Athletes for a healthy planet" and was voted #1 eco athlete by the discovery channel. Her story is very inspiring, I wish that all those high paid multimillionaire athletes out there that moan and groan about not getting paid enough, would take a step down and take a look at one some of their peers are doing.

I'm so gunna find out when she's in daytona racing again and stalk her. seriously. she's.my.hero. period.

Houseduty avoidance

What we have going on right now, is clearly a classic case of houseduty avoidance. My typical daily affliction. I'm not saying my house is a pigsty, but it seems to take my a while to get motivated to get my butt in gear. Typical excuses tend to be 1) I gotta kill some things in Mafia Wars on facebook..so I can level up, for the good of my mafia 2) then after that I gotta go plant some crops and cut down some trees in frontierville..so I don't get too far behind and my frontier doesn't look like a jungle in a week 3) I gotta remind my friends who I am, so I simply must comment on their status's and make my own, and post wall posts 4) and finally, I simply must update my own blog...and while I'm at it, I'll read some blogs that I follow.

The problem with that..once I get started on something, I tend to expand..let's take blogging. Once I've posted, and read all of my usual blogs that I follow, I usually see something superinteresting, or they mention someone THEY follow, of course I have to check that out. So my short and sweet list of blogs I follow has grown into a bigger list. And to keep updated on all of it, thats pretty time consuming. I started thinking this morning, I'm a facebook addict, I know this, I'm aware of this, and now I'm a blog addict..however..it finally occurred to me this morning that what I was doing, by doing all of this, was a classic case of avoidance.

My husband lost his ring, his wedding ring..so, my goal of today is to tear the house up to find it. Then run it down to the jewelry store when he gets home, to get it resized so the stupid thing quits falling off. It's 11am, and I've been up since 4, and the only thing i've done is play mafia wars, play frontierville, post on some peoples statuses, and read some peoples blogs, and here I am writing my own blog. OH! I did dump a bunch of clean clothes on the bed (that I had just made..yeah mom..I make my bed daily..don't die of heartfailure now) so I could settle down and fold them later! go me with my bad self.

Speaking of laundry, I came across a cute quote today "if the money added up as quickly as the loads of dirty laundry do... I'd never have to worry about how I'm gonna pay my bills again!" SO true. I'd be a billionaire. I hate laundry, and I hate having the satisfaction of being totally done with laundry, only to realize that I forgot to get the dirty clothes from stephens bedroom, or somewhere, or maybe the dog rolled around in the dirt and now my comforter is all dirty. and so back to the laundry I go. Stupid vicious never ending cycle. Life would be so much easier if we could all walk around naked.

So..on that note..here's my happiness for today.


I do love Florida. I'm a true Florida girl at heart. If we ever decided to move away from Florida, I'd have to vacation here at least once a year, so I can dig my toes into the sand and watch the waves on the beach. I was born and raised here, and aside from a brief move to New Jersey..it's the only place I've ever really lived. It's beautiful. We do have our downside of course..crazy old drivers, hurricanes, mosquitoes, and tourists. but for the most part, you can almost be guaranteed a beautiful view SOMEWHERE. even if you are driving along US1 and happen to look up at the clouds, puffy and white, or pink with the sunset. The ocean is beautiful, even when it's rough and mad and vengeful. Florida is flat, with no hills, mountains or changing weather. But its one of the few places that you can put on a bikini and go swimming in December. We are almost fanatical about our college football (GO UF GATORS!) and some Floridians have never witnessed snowfall. It's a beautiful place to live, but a horrible place to retire..so remember that if you decide to purchase a house down here. and forgodsakes people, don't drive after you are a certain age!

You might be a Floridian if...

(my own comments in italics)

• "Down South" means Key West.
• "Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.
• You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.
  And no-one should be allowed to drive under 70 miles an hour.
• Flip-flops are everyday wear.
• Shoes are for business meetings and church.
• No, wait, flip flops are good for church too.
• Socks are only for bowling.
• Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit.
• Tap water makes you vomit.
• Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
• An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
• You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip to Florida.
• You measure distance in minutes.
  And no matter where you want to go, it's half an hour away.
• You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt. Gotta love my UF sweatshirt.
  
• You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
• You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes anyway.
• All the local festivals are named after a fruit. I loooove the Strawberry Festival
  
• A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
• A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
• Your winter coat is made of denim. Actually, I have a UF jacket, or two.
  
• You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
  Duh! Who can't?!
• You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
  
• You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas.
• It's not "pop." It's "soda" or "coke."
• Anything under 70 is chilly.
• You've hosted a hurricane party.
• You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.
• You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.
• You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches. It's a dead-end battle, don't waste your time..same goes for fleas.
  
• You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Okahumpka and Loxahatchee.
  Not to mention Thonotosassa, Ichetucknee and Wewahitchka -- and you know:
• Which one is strictly for tourists.
• Which one is best in hot weather.
• Which one means 'two big eyes looking up at the sky'.
• Which one is a rest stop.
  
• You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.
• You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
  
• Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include various fish, the NRA and a confederate flag. Don't forget the college football decal! geesh.
  
• You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.
  Not true. I've never lived in a house with a pool. Why have your own pool when the neighbors have one? or get a blowup pool! kiddie pools! or why have a pool when you've got the beach?
  
• You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
  Do I even *know* anyone who can't swim?
• You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
• You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important!.
• You could swim before you could read. haha so true.
  
• You have to drive north to get to The South.
• You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix. You have no idea what you are missing if you don't have a Publix near you.
  
• Every other house had blue roofs in 2004-2005
  
• You’ve gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark.
  
• You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for. regardless, its a great chance to grill!
  
• You dread lovebug season. it's lovebug season now..blasted things are everywhere!
  
• You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.
  And Andrew..back in the day.
  
• You know what a snowbird is and you hate them. Hate is a strong word..unless they are old as dirt and can't drive worth a darned. plus my mom is a snowbird now!- sorta.
  
• You know why flamingos are pink.
  
• You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
  And no local festival is complete without a Seminole Indian wrestling a gator.
• You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven't. Actually I was 22:)
  

A little concerned..any ideas?

I debated a while before I decided to make this public..I'm trying to be careful what I post out there in the big bad world, don't want anything to come back and bite me in the arse. But I'm thinking I need some opinions about what to do, or if I should be concerned, or any suggestions would be helpful

A while back I went to Stephens dr with concerns about ADHD, he gave me a connors test to take to his teacher..

I had a phone conference with her yesterday, instead of interm reports she does conferences, most of the time face to face but with our vehicle transportation problems we are having, i had to opt for a phone conference.

She said she's not allowed to do the connors test anymore, state rules, because teachers aren't medically qualified to help make a diagnosis, which makes sense..she did say that she sees SOME of the symptoms, but mostly when he's in a social setting, with his friends or at lunch, as far as talking and hyperness and fidgety. but doesn't see anything alarming that would raise concern, asked what I see at home and I told her. She says while she doesn't see it at school she "acknowledges that theres something going on" but can't pinpoint what.

inspite of all the years of going to a private school type setting daycare/vpk, when he started kindergarten she said she tested him, she gave a test to all the kids, its a statewide test to determine the VPK program. He scored in the 39 percentile, which is extremely low.and said he only knew 2 words, 3 numbers and didn't recognize or know how to spell his name on paper. the first 4 weeks of school she said was very hard, she said he struggled, and it was like he wasn't grasping anything at all that she was teaching. She described him as "being distracted in his own mind" the past few weeks he's doing a lot better, but is still grasping things slower than she'd like. she gave him the same test over again and now he knows 18 letters, 9 sounds, 5 sight words, and 8 numbers that he can write in random order. he knows how to spell and write his name. and can tell her his favorite part of a story. she said she notices that he really and truly tries for her, it's just not processing as quickly as it could be. she suggested eyes checked and asked if he ever had them checked, i told her the week before school started he had his 5 year old physical which they tested his eyes with a picture chart, and he had 20/20 vision in both eyes..but never has he been professionally checked. she said she just suggested it to rule out things, if he's not seeing clearly it would be harder for him to process things, but she's not sure if thats it, it's just to rule things out. She said she does definitely see something going on with him, but she can't pinpoint anything that could be recommended for a diagnoses just yet..

she does say they've laid a good foundation the past few weeks, and shes pleased with his progress..she also said the school has provided a tutor to all the grades from kindergarten to third grade that comes by all the classroom for 10-20 minutes a day, and because of his 39% rating he qualifies for it, so the tutor will be coming in to sit with him a few times a week to help him with his letters, and that will start in the next couple of weeks.

she suggested that the reason his vpk and preschool teachers suggested adhd (they told me he would get aggravated or bored with the classwork and rather play instead) was because since he's slow to grasp things, he would get frustrated and they didn't really know how to handle it or recognize that in him..

she ended the whole thing that while shes exteremly impressed with his progress, shes concerned with the slowness of grasping things.. and says he's very intelligent and sweet and is very huggy and always willing to help her. she plans to keep on top of our communication and let me know if she sees anything alarming. based on the last test she gave him, he's barely "on level" but has a lot to learn in the next few weeks (kindergartners are required to learn the entire alphabet on sight by xmas vacation and be able to randomly write down the letter after being told a letter) the tutor should hopefully help some, and the teacher is going to come up with ideas with a pirate theme (his favorite thing right now..pirates) to take home to help him at home also. she gave us some flashcards she made with sight words they need to know by the end of the year and its helped a little, shes going to send some home with him with just letters to try and see how that works.

should I be worried about how slow he processes things? i know he's very intellegent, and has a excellent memory (he remembers being a ninja turtle 2-3 years ago for halloween) and remembers my dad being shrek 3 years ago. and at odd times remembers things that i just cant believe he remembers. and he's very creative with stories. i know he's smart, and people have told me he's smart, but im not sure if i should be concerned about maybe a learning disability, or what? any ideas?

The song remembers when...

To quote one of my few favorite country singers, Trisha Yearwood..

"I was standing at the counter
I was waiting for the change
When I heard that old familiar music start
It was like a lighted match
Had been tossed into my soul
It was like a dam had broken in my heart


The song remembers when
Yeah, and even if the whole world has forgotten
The song remembers when"

I was driving home today from the gas station when my radio popped up with a old favorite song of mine, I hadn't thought about the song in forever, but it used to be one of my favorites. And all of the sudden I wasn't driving my car in 2010, I was younger and in high school, full of hopes and dreams.. I'd heard Goo Goo Dolls "Iris" I loved that song.. it doesn't have any particular memory attached to it, its just one of those timeless classics that you listen to and it brings you back to the good old days..




I have a few of them, I'll always be fond of Hinder "Lips of an angel" or Mariah Carey "Someday" or Garth Brooks "Papa loves Mama" or George Straight "Forever and ever, amen" there's Debbie Gibson "Only in my dreams" or NKOTB "hangin tough" different songs, that if I hear them, bring me back to a certain point in my life. I don't know that I have a specific song for a specific lost love, or lost memory, my music tends to bring me back to points in life..a certain age, a certain feeling. I think its just wierd if you're driving a long, head full of To Do's and worries about today when something comes up on the radio, then all of the sudden you are somewhere else, feeling something else. When I got home I had to come on the internet and rehear the goo goo dolls song and then felt like posting. dunno why? random post here.

"And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am"

♥¤Spoiled¤♥

I'll be the first to admit that I'm pretty lucky. I have a great guy for a husband. He has faults, we all do, and his faults are huge ones, and we're working on them. He's trying really hard, and I'm really proud of him for it. He treats me good, and he actually likes to spoil me...which brings me to my happiness of the day.

He spoils me sometimes. He came home one day with flowers, totally out of the blue, and surprised me. We don't get to do things like that often, due to money, our appreciation is usually shown other ways, or in words. But lets face it, every girl likes to be surprised with flowers now and then. He also likes to brush my hair. When I haven't had a haircut in ages, which it has been, ages..it tends to knot up very easily. I asked him if he could get the back one night, cause my hair is long and thick, and its just a plain pain in the butt to get the back part sometimes. He brushed the knots out, now sometimes he'll grab the brush and do it for me, without even asking. He also likes to paint my nails, and he does an excellent job. It's not his favorite thing to do, I can tell but he says he likes to pamper me. I tried to get a picture for my happiness post when he painted my nails the other night, but my camera battery died. I wonder if I took a poll how many people can say their husbands do this? Is my husband blowing a hole in the man code? He's not gay or asexual or metro-sexual or any of those whateveryoucallits..cause I think instead of holding a nail polish bottle he'd rather be holding something that gets grease under his nails, but I think he puts up with doing things like that, because he truly likes to make me feel special..and I do. Feel special that is.

I need to make some sort of promise or vow to myself, that when I'm seeing red and I'm ready to slap the stupid out of him, I need to take a step back, breathe, and try to hold on to these mushy feelings and good moments that we share. I'm going to really try and work on that one.

Rare good moods!

I have been in pretty rare good moods lately.. Odd considering that one insane time of the month of females is coming up, and usually I'm unapproachable, very in fact..if you live within 10 miles from me, I'd watch out or your head will get cut off.

I actually have several happinesses I could share (I know that's not a word, sue me) and I'm trying really hard to control posting all of them in one day, because the good mood could wear off at any second, and I could turn a complete 180, and I'll need to save one or two for a rainy day.

I'll start off with Stephen. Stephen is five.. he's totally independent, if I were able to, I'd change his name from Stephen to "Mr. independent hardheaded stubborn knowitall" He's a total mini-me. Watching him grow up is like watching myself grow up, and I give major kudos to my mom for keeping her sanity as long as she has (don't tell her that, I like her to think that I've thought she was insane all along) One of his things..he LOVESLOVESLOVES making a mess, and loves it even more if mommy gets fed up of that mess and cleans up after him. One of his favorite pastimes happens to also be talking back. (or just plain talking..he doesn't know how to be quiet..ever..trust me, if I could figure out how to post a recording on here, I'd record a typical car ride and you'd be like..holy effin cow!) I'm surprised I'm not totally bald right now from ripping my hair out with dealing with him when he's in one of his "I-didn't-make-that-mess therefore I-dont-have-to-clean-it-up!" type moods when he points fingers to everyone from the chicken to daddy and blames it on daddy's sleepwalking habits. Yesterday, my husband in his brilliance, decided to turn tables on him. Stephen woke up in the wee hours of the morning, and decided to pull a chair, (ever so quietly so that my husband and I wouldn't wake up) over to the fridge, where we store his Pirate Sandbox.. this annoying toy that I would LOVELOVELOVE to throw away. It's a miniature sandbox, with annoying blue sand, that he can pretend is water, and play with the pirate boats and figures that came with it. It's a nice idea, since he loves sand, and is currently obsessed with anything pirate..except its MESSY! So he had a ball playing with this sandbox, leaving behind a disaster in my kitchen, blue sand everywhere, tiny miniature sand. The sand that a broom will not pick up easily.

My husband decided that Stephen will be picking this sand up, instead of mommy, cause usually it works out to where mommy or daddy cleans up while Stephen is happily playing away in his room, even if he's in time out, he finds something to play with, and I can't very well cut off his fingers and toes even though he plays with those. So, Stephens chore was to clean up his mess, while mommy and daddy played. My contribution to this, was that if I found one speck of sand, for every speck of sand I found, I would donate one toy of his to some other child. So..while my five year old son slaved away in the kitchen, my husband and I pulled up chairs to a table in the living room to watch, got sodas and chips and proceeded to play several hands of rummy.


end result? clean kitchen, mommy beating daddies behind in rummy 2-1, and a very very happy mommy that she didn't have to slave in the kitchen, her five year old did it for her.


ps. please don't call CPS..no children were harmed in the making of this photo..

My happiness for today

I missed yesterday, compared to my normal days, yesterday was dull and boring, absolutely nothing happened yesterday. It was quiet and uneventful. And I didn't get online much, my husband came home early and we ran some errands, ate dinner, then pretty much went bed, watched movies until he sacked out early then I went to bed shortly after that. We watched Memento, that movie had huge ravings and we were told it was an excellent movie. It was artfully done by the director, and left you with a million questions after you watched it. You have to watch it a few times to fully appreciate the messages in the movie. I thought it was a decent movie, but I wouldn't go nuts watching it over and over again like some people did (I got on the internet afterwords to find out exactly what was happening in the movie). We also watched Get Carter, with Sylvester Stallone in it, that too was a decent movie.

Since I didn't blog yesterday I skipped my happiness for the day..can we just leave it at the fact that I had a boring day yesterday was my happiness? I have no imagery for it, but the fact that there was no drama, no weirdness, nothing, makes me totally happy.

My happiness for today? Getting ready for the holidays. The other day stephen and I prepared for Halloween. To my recollection, i've never really decorated for halloween, but with Stephen growing older and knowing about the holidays, I wanted to decorate for him, and I'm sure I will decorate with Thanksgiving, and with Christmas as well. When he got home from school we set out with our decorations (go to CVS people..get a card and scan it at the kiosk, a coupon prints out to get $5 off of halloween decorations..most of their decorations are wicked cheap, like 1.99 or something, so Jesse and I got 10 dollars worth of free decorations) Stephen told me where he'd like things placed, and I decorated. it looks pretty good if I do say so myself. My ultimate hope is that the decorations will make up for the lack of holiday cheer this year, because with everything that has gone on, and the fact that my mom isn't here this year, and our lack of money for stuff, I don't know how well the holidays will go over. Anyways..so here's a picture (or two) of our final results.


Stephen is insanely happy with the results, and is very excited for halloween to come up, so I am happy too.