You know how every now and then you have one of those days that starts off bad, and just gets worse and worse until you realize that you absolutely MUST go back to bed, and restart the day over on a better track? that day for me happens a bit, today is one of them. we set the alarm early, Jesse had a lot of things he needed to get acomplished today. both of us are NOT morning people and it didn't help matters at all that I tossed and turned until 5am couldn't get comfortable then came into the computer room and dozed on the couch. Stephen got me up totally at 9, went in, and he'd turned the alarm off, and set it for 1pm (he works 2-11 so he usually sleeps most of the day) so me being the lovely morning person I am, on top of ziltch sleep, turned raging homicidal witch. with resulted in major clashing between the two of us, to where it ended up with me getting elbowed in the head by him, then a blanket thrown at my head two minutes later. needless to say i have a raging headache. he finally got up, made his phone calls and while I was laying there listening to him I passed out, after a little bit so we got up, found out that my very own flesh and blood child decided it would be loads of laughter if he took the 1000 piece puzzle mommy has been working really hard on, breaking it up and throw them all over the floor, which our puppy promptly started chewing on the pieces. he also managed to (either accidentally or not) break a candle with glass all over the floor.
i took jesse to work, went to the medicine shoppe and got jesses prescriptions for his opiate withdrawal, then went to the library, returned my movies got some more..during which i kept talking to stephen about how I would never do something hurtful like tear his toys up, and how upset I am with him, and how disappointed i was at him. he was to stick to me like glue, not allowed to get anything at the library, and as soon as we were getting home he was to pick up every single piece of puzzle. we then went to the grocery store, and was going to try and get milk and bread and some basic essentials like juice and stuff too..except my friggin credit card got declined. but in typical fashion that some people do, we'd grabbed some chocolate milk, the 99 cent ones thank god..and drank half of it. so now i had to go comb through the car looking for every cent i had, then resort to begging some people for change so that i could pay for those two milks. i was beyond upset.
im on a downward spiral into total mental meltdown of stress. seriously. between bills and not having milk, to my stinking puzzle. im dealing with repossession, and late bills, and havent been able to pay the rent yet, and not being able to get stephens back to school things that he will need to go to kindergarten. i feel like i am never going to be able to get back on my feet. i havent reached the point yet but i can understand how people reach the desperation point to be willing to go to prison for theft to get the things they need. when you have no roof over your head, or barely have one..no car, no job bills that are mounting, and if you just had a few lousy bucks it would be alright.
and now im at home moaning and groaning on a blog, while on hold with hsbc regarding the repossession, and stephen still hasnt picked up the puzzle pieces. i need to go back to sleep and start it all over
