Black and White

Sometimes when I look at Stephen I don't see autism, I don't see Aspergers.  I see a normal boy, with no challenges, just that he is who he is.  I love him no matter what, regardless of what label is attached to him.  He's so much amazingness all wrapped up in this gigantic ball of boy, all arms and legs and taller than I would expect him to be at this age.  Even though I see all this normalness and amazingness in him, there are times when it smacks me right in the face again, boom..there's the aspergers.

He has always enjoyed music.  More recently his passion has become classical, and to narrow it down even further, the organ.  He wants to learn how to play the organ.  This is his music instrument of choice when it comes to listening at night as he sleeps, or when he's in a place that is too loud and has to put music on with his headphones.  It's his go to when he has a meltdown and needs to step back and calm down.  It sounds like an awful racket to me, but he loves it.  This weekend I thought about going into a music store in town and inquiring about lessons.  He went with me of course, because he was excited about the possibility .   When we got there he went and ogled the guitar.  Guitar has also been a lifelong wish to learn as well.  So I inquired about lessons.  And that's when it hit, the big revelation that my kid has Autism.

There is often a hard line between black and white with kids with Aspergers.  They have a hard time seeing the grey.  On this particular instance, the man told us that there isn't any organ lessons, but there are dozens of teachers that teach piano lessons.  He kept asking about the organ, where he can go to learn, etc.  The man tried to tell him that the piano is the same, except extra keys.  I could tell though, Stephen no longer wanted lessons from this place.  He doesn't see it has a piano can give him a foundation to the next instrument, its organ or nothing.  I was going to get him lessons, maybe start right then because there was a instructor available, but nope, he was ready to go.  I told him to think about it, but it's clear the window has passed.  He doesn't want music lessons anymore.  Maybe one day the guitar will come back around, but the idea of learning a piano instead of an organ isn't as appealing.  He said he wanted to think about it, but I know him, I don't think it will happen any time soon.  It sucks.  I think he would enjoy it.

I'm trying to get him out there, lessons, either music, or basketball, or cooking lessons, something to get him socializing and learning something that he enjoys, get him out of the house.  I may be shelving the musical lessons for the time being, but he seemed excited about cooking lessons, so I'm online googling up a storm!  Hopefully the black and white won't trip us up again.