When you are a parent, either single or a double parent, there are many trials and tribulations that you can face when raising a child. You watch your child go through milestones, go through make up and break ups of friendships, succeeding or struggling in school. So many things parents go through, at all levels of difficulties. For me, watching my kiddo struggle in areas that come so easily to people, is the hardest thing I ever have experienced in my life.
He's been diagnosed with Autism (aspergers or ASD) ADD, dyslexia and dysgraphia. School is a constant struggle for him, and now that he's growing older, some of the challenges I see him face aren't just academic. I had a meeting this morning with his school, it was for the 504 plan he had in place, they were regrouping and updating and making sure that everything is going okay. Academically I think he's doing pretty good, his biggest challenges are tests and turning in assignments/homework. He came to the meeting, he had some input, and one of the things he said was absolutely heartbreaking.
He's struggling socially. He has no friends. It's so hard for me to type that. When we were in elementary school and karate, he had friends, mostly karate friends, friends that he did things with. Those friends are starting to get older and are outgrowing the things that Stephen loves so much. He's almost a teenager, but he still loves legos. He went to a friends house this weekend while I got my car fixed and he left so depressed, because his two friends were more interested in playing video games against each other than play with him. He feels like he's not friends with them anymore. And today at the meeting he told them that he sits by himself at lunch, he doesn't have anyone to talk to or socialize with, everyone thinks he's weird. As a mom, that is just so freaking heartbreaking, I'm just tearing up thinking about it.
I knew it was coming, because people with ASD tend to have a hard time socially, and they tend to think about things on a different level, and his lego passion is a childs thing, whereas people in middle school have moved on.
It just hurts. I needed to process this and vent it, decided to do it on a blog here. His school has assigned him a social worker, and theres still now IEP in sight despite a letter and a prescription with his diagnosis on it, he's got to go through intervention process again, and even though he's been in intervention 5 years now, it doesn't really matter because he's in a new school, new district, so he starts all over again. ugh. but the social worker is supposed to help with social skills and things like that, so im hopeful.
This was hard to read. I wish I could do something to make things better. I've always tried to be the fixer, not wanting you to be hurt and going after anyone that hurts you. But this is something that no matter how much I want to fix it, I can't. Alls I can do is be there for you with whatever you need. I'm extremely proud of you for being such a good Mom and staying strong when I know that underneath your crying. You have a rough road ahead but you are doing an amazing job doing whatever is necessary to make sure Stephen is coping with the autism. There will be plenty of ups and downs, plenty of challenges. I know because there were ups and downs and challenges with you but you grew up to be an amazing woman and Mother. With the case worker she seems to know what Stephen needs in friends. Remember he has only been in middle school for 9 weeks and will make friends. It took some time for friends in elementary. Keep the hope, this last meeting seemed to bring some hope, we will have to give it time and patience and be there for Stephen when things aren't going too good and get him back on the right track. I'm always here when you need to talk, when you need to cry and just vent.
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