So..Christmas is on the verge of being here, and as prepared as I thought I might be, I'm not. I miss the days where I had no worries, my biggest worry was what present might Santa give me? Could I get away with eating one more cookie, and leave Santa one less? I haven't said it enough, but I really do give BIG kudos out to my mom, I have no idea how she did it. I was the most annoying greedy little girl ever, and I should apologize to my mom until my dying breath about it. I don't know how she was able to do it all, the buying, the wrapping, the hiding gifts. And I don't know if I just blocked the memories, but I have no memory of finding any presents from Santa, or being so astute to my surroundings that I questioned every little thing Santa did? Stephen has found one present from Santa, has questioned the Elf on the Shelf, and has a memory like you wouldn't believe..I don't know how I thought I could get away with passing one of his presents off as to his stepbrothers. A month after I bought it he still remembers the present, how could I possibly stick it under the tree and explain it away to Santa?
Today is my last day of peace and quiet. Today is it. Then I have a 5 year old all day long. If I end the two week period of 5 year old watching with hair left on my head, I will be very surprised. Yesterday he did do me proud though, I cleaned the living room and kitchen and mopped and swept and cloroxed my heart out, and Stephen "helped" needless to say, it might have been more productive if he HADN'T but at least he tried? I woulda cleaned more than just those two rooms if he was content with playing outside.
This month has been particularly rough on me, Christmas aside. And I am more than ready to get the year over with. I have a feeling next year won't be any less dramatic or stressful, but one hopes. Jesse (my husband) got into a car accident, with our only form of transportation. He walked away with a broken sternum, I'm happy it wasn't more serious..but my poor baby car walked away more damaged. The exterior was surprisingly good, but the engine has suffered. We needed to replace the radiator, we needed to replace the fan, we still need to fix the starter, the headlights (which work, but you have to drive with highbeams and one side is brighter than the other and the blinkers are weird), the airbag needs replaced, the seatbelts need unlocked, and we need to eventually replace the air conditioning. poor car. I love that car, she's amazing, it was the first car I bought on my own for myself that I bought because I wanted it. I had a saturn ion coupe before but it wasn't what I'd really truely wanted. my saturn vue was. The damage was minimal to what could have been done, I think she held up pretty good in the wreck. I think the accidents I've gone through with my vehicles, so far the Honda was the best, and the Saturn held her own also. So if you are car shopping, those two were commendable in a car accident. Jesse is doing okay, considering. He's gone back to work, and has been hard at work fixing the car..and he's doing it all with a broken sternum. I know that he's trying very hard, and I appreciate it.
I'm all typed out, it's cold in here, my fingers are freezing and its hard to type LOL. I will type later, I'd like to go back to blogging more on a regular basis.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Sorry!
okay..just wanted to apologize to everyone for my constant woe is me LOL i think this time of the year is the WORST. and it seems like its just harder this year than normal, because my mom wont be in town, and economicwise and all that. im trying to keep positive it's probably going to be hard LOL but im trying!
i called student loans, it just started up again..it was deferred the past six months..i cant afford to pay it right now, and my unemployment runs out either this week or december 15th..not sure, i think i might have ONE more week to claim then its done. so anywyas about the student loan.I got the paperwork for that filled out and in the mailbox ready to go, hopefully it'll continue to be deferred.
I called toys for tots to try once again to get on the list, but i think it'll probably be too late. I was hoping if i dropped my maiden name in some conversations i'll get somewhere (shame on me! but sometimes my family has influence in this town) and i just found out that my dad had invited all of my stepsisters to the margarita ball this year..which is a charity event for toys for tots where you are required to bring 50.00 worth of toys to this tux and gown event..its exclusive and invite only all the rich people go there every year. anyways my two uncles, two aunts, dad, stepmom, cousin and his wife and their 18 year old daughter, my two stepsisters and their husbands all got to go, so i figured with that many family members maybe my maiden name would be like ohh yeah they are the ones that all brought all those toys! but i got the run around and ended up having to leave another message. i bet they are swamped. the whole margarita ball thing is a sore spot. maybe dad didn't invite me because he didnt want me to stress out about a dress and buying a toy to bring or whatever. i should be used to being excluded, no matter what good intentions there are. and it kills me that at 29 years of age, things like that still hurt. thing is, i would have liked to have been asked. I do have a dress. does dad really think i like seeing him all beeming and smiley at the arms of his family while i sat at home clueless that this was even going on? i thought i was supposed to be a part of that family as well, it would have been nice to have been at least invited, if anything i coulda had the chance to say yes i'd love to go, or no, i can't right now. to be thought of is a lot better than being left out totally. whatever, ill get over it. anyways..
i called the city police department..jesse told me that they donate toys and stuff around the city..and since our city is like so tiny that if you blink you drive through it, maybe i'd have better chance than toys for tots..so the chief of police is supposed to call me back to give me details. i was gunna ask her too if i could donate stephesn toys, the old ones that he never plays with that are still in excellent shape.
so ive gotten a little bit accomplished so far today! put itn a few new job apps that i saw opened up on some of the websites i usually job hunt. i need a fax machine lol life would be so much easier.
i called student loans, it just started up again..it was deferred the past six months..i cant afford to pay it right now, and my unemployment runs out either this week or december 15th..not sure, i think i might have ONE more week to claim then its done. so anywyas about the student loan.I got the paperwork for that filled out and in the mailbox ready to go, hopefully it'll continue to be deferred.
I called toys for tots to try once again to get on the list, but i think it'll probably be too late. I was hoping if i dropped my maiden name in some conversations i'll get somewhere (shame on me! but sometimes my family has influence in this town) and i just found out that my dad had invited all of my stepsisters to the margarita ball this year..which is a charity event for toys for tots where you are required to bring 50.00 worth of toys to this tux and gown event..its exclusive and invite only all the rich people go there every year. anyways my two uncles, two aunts, dad, stepmom, cousin and his wife and their 18 year old daughter, my two stepsisters and their husbands all got to go, so i figured with that many family members maybe my maiden name would be like ohh yeah they are the ones that all brought all those toys! but i got the run around and ended up having to leave another message. i bet they are swamped. the whole margarita ball thing is a sore spot. maybe dad didn't invite me because he didnt want me to stress out about a dress and buying a toy to bring or whatever. i should be used to being excluded, no matter what good intentions there are. and it kills me that at 29 years of age, things like that still hurt. thing is, i would have liked to have been asked. I do have a dress. does dad really think i like seeing him all beeming and smiley at the arms of his family while i sat at home clueless that this was even going on? i thought i was supposed to be a part of that family as well, it would have been nice to have been at least invited, if anything i coulda had the chance to say yes i'd love to go, or no, i can't right now. to be thought of is a lot better than being left out totally. whatever, ill get over it. anyways..
i called the city police department..jesse told me that they donate toys and stuff around the city..and since our city is like so tiny that if you blink you drive through it, maybe i'd have better chance than toys for tots..so the chief of police is supposed to call me back to give me details. i was gunna ask her too if i could donate stephesn toys, the old ones that he never plays with that are still in excellent shape.
so ive gotten a little bit accomplished so far today! put itn a few new job apps that i saw opened up on some of the websites i usually job hunt. i need a fax machine lol life would be so much easier.
It's looming..
Halloween is a thing of the past..Thanksgiving has come and gone, and now here we are, down to the final countdown, the big huge Mack Truck is on its way to run me over. actually it feels like it already has. it's day one of that stupid month that has come upon me way too quick. Christmas decorations are slowly but surely coming together. But I am WAY too bah humbug to care about it. I turn on the radio hoping to get into the mood, and all I want to do is throw the radio into the river. Santa Baby can just go drown himself in the Halifax River (unless he brings me all that I want..and Im not asking much..not like Marilyn Monroe was).
On the surface everything is coming along smoothly. Decorations are going up, Rocko is back (our elf on the shelf) and a few things have been bought.
I have completed some shopping. I went out on black friday not in the wee hours of the morning like some people do, but I was out. I got a few things with the few dollars I had..mostly it was for my stepchildren, not that I will get the privilege of watching them open what I so carefully picked out. Which I'm starting to get a little bit bitter about..I always have been, but I tried to stay out of it, let my husband and the ex deal with issues with themselves, cause every time I try to help nothing really happens. Apparently she doesn't want me around much, probably cause she wants to sink her ugly fat claws back into my husband again..but whatever. So in the meantime, the innocent bystanders are the children and me. They will probably think that I'm keeping their daddy away from them, and eventually come to resent and hate me (ahh..the memories of being the stepdaughter) but thats a whole other rant...the situation with the ex and kids and me and jesse.
so anyways..I did do a little shopping, got a few things for jesses kids and managed to sneak one or two small things in the cart for Stephen. nothing exciting mostly stuff that is $1, small stuff..but the way things are looking stephen probably won't get much:( but at least he'll get a few things from some family/friends. My hope though is to raise enough money to at least get one of the big ticket items on his list so that "santa" can bring him what he wants for christmas.
I had a hard thanksgiving, I spent most of it by myself cooking because jesse went to spend a few hours with his kids and stephen spent a few hours outside with the dirt. My first thanksgiving without my mom, or my dad really..it was very hard. Very emotional, I cried a lot, and while the dinner turned out pretty good, and it was a nice dinner to have as our first thanksgiving as a family, but it was sad that i couldnt see my family:( Christmas is going to be even worse for me I think. At least I'll see my dad, but it's going to be hard, and I really am not looking forward to it.
and right now, with our bank account negative, rent due today, bills all due up, and the big holiday coming up, I just want to bury my head underground and wait until january 1st comes up to surface. i'm stressed out wondering how I'll be able to buy sugar for the cookies I usually make for Christmas, let alone some 40 dollar toy stephen absolutely MUST have from santa. things will work out, they have a way of doing so, but right now i feel like im staring down a huge Mack Truck with no chance of escape. *sigh*
On the surface everything is coming along smoothly. Decorations are going up, Rocko is back (our elf on the shelf) and a few things have been bought.
I have completed some shopping. I went out on black friday not in the wee hours of the morning like some people do, but I was out. I got a few things with the few dollars I had..mostly it was for my stepchildren, not that I will get the privilege of watching them open what I so carefully picked out. Which I'm starting to get a little bit bitter about..I always have been, but I tried to stay out of it, let my husband and the ex deal with issues with themselves, cause every time I try to help nothing really happens. Apparently she doesn't want me around much, probably cause she wants to sink her ugly fat claws back into my husband again..but whatever. So in the meantime, the innocent bystanders are the children and me. They will probably think that I'm keeping their daddy away from them, and eventually come to resent and hate me (ahh..the memories of being the stepdaughter) but thats a whole other rant...the situation with the ex and kids and me and jesse.
so anyways..I did do a little shopping, got a few things for jesses kids and managed to sneak one or two small things in the cart for Stephen. nothing exciting mostly stuff that is $1, small stuff..but the way things are looking stephen probably won't get much:( but at least he'll get a few things from some family/friends. My hope though is to raise enough money to at least get one of the big ticket items on his list so that "santa" can bring him what he wants for christmas.
I had a hard thanksgiving, I spent most of it by myself cooking because jesse went to spend a few hours with his kids and stephen spent a few hours outside with the dirt. My first thanksgiving without my mom, or my dad really..it was very hard. Very emotional, I cried a lot, and while the dinner turned out pretty good, and it was a nice dinner to have as our first thanksgiving as a family, but it was sad that i couldnt see my family:( Christmas is going to be even worse for me I think. At least I'll see my dad, but it's going to be hard, and I really am not looking forward to it.
and right now, with our bank account negative, rent due today, bills all due up, and the big holiday coming up, I just want to bury my head underground and wait until january 1st comes up to surface. i'm stressed out wondering how I'll be able to buy sugar for the cookies I usually make for Christmas, let alone some 40 dollar toy stephen absolutely MUST have from santa. things will work out, they have a way of doing so, but right now i feel like im staring down a huge Mack Truck with no chance of escape. *sigh*
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
relaxing day before thanksgiving
Today was fun, started off by cleaning my kitchen and eating area to prepare for tomorrow, and started making cookies. I found this cute little cookie recipe in a cookbook, i used cardboard to trace my sons hand, as a cookie cutter type shape. with his hands i would trace into the dough and make handshaped cookies, and color the fingers different colors and the body brown and make it a turkey looking thing. the start of the recipe required mixing things then cooling it in the fridge for 2 hours..stephen sat at the kitchen table with a bunch of thanksgiving printouts i printed out for him, coloring and cutting them out to "decorate" our house for thanksgiving, he was so cute and so helpful. when i started rolling and cutting the cookies out he had to have his own little batch of dough and cut his own cookies out. he was too cute. after i was done my neighbor who has a 2 year old boy came over for a little while, he and stephen played for a long time while the neighbor and I chatted. I had a lot of fun with my adult conversation. she is a little bit younger than me, and i found out way too much about the personal life of her family, but I enjoyed it. It was refreshing. she had to leave, her son is still in the nap phase..so i finished cooking and decorating my cookies, which came out okay..i havent tasted them yet, hopefully they are decent tasting. they look kinda cute, of course when i covered it with foil i screwed up some of the decorations, but i got pictures before I did that.
just as i started cleaning up she came back over, and i changed out of my flour covered clothes, and we went down to the park, talked for a while then made it over to the basketball court and shot hoops. I used to love playing basketball, so did she..it's been years since i've played, but i had a lot of fun, and man im worn out.
jesse made it to work late today and forgot his grocery list that i gave him, so while we were on our way home, jesse drove by..then we went and braved the grocery store, the day before thanksgiving. it was insane. got what i needed and we went home. i cooked dinner, the neighbor came back over to borrow our shower (her water pump busted it's being fixed right now though) and chatted some more, then left. Shes gunna swing by tomorrow with her son to spend a few minutes of thanksgiving with us.
it was really fun to play basketball, of course im sore now. no exercise. hehe, but i think we might try getting together in the mornings after stephen is off to school and start walking..both of us want to get some exercise, and with the two of us it's a little more safer in this neighborhood.
right now im online printing out recipes for tomorrow and stressing about it, what to cook and when, but i'm kinda excited to cook my first every thanksgiving dinner, hopefully it will turn out alright.
just as i started cleaning up she came back over, and i changed out of my flour covered clothes, and we went down to the park, talked for a while then made it over to the basketball court and shot hoops. I used to love playing basketball, so did she..it's been years since i've played, but i had a lot of fun, and man im worn out.
jesse made it to work late today and forgot his grocery list that i gave him, so while we were on our way home, jesse drove by..then we went and braved the grocery store, the day before thanksgiving. it was insane. got what i needed and we went home. i cooked dinner, the neighbor came back over to borrow our shower (her water pump busted it's being fixed right now though) and chatted some more, then left. Shes gunna swing by tomorrow with her son to spend a few minutes of thanksgiving with us.
it was really fun to play basketball, of course im sore now. no exercise. hehe, but i think we might try getting together in the mornings after stephen is off to school and start walking..both of us want to get some exercise, and with the two of us it's a little more safer in this neighborhood.
right now im online printing out recipes for tomorrow and stressing about it, what to cook and when, but i'm kinda excited to cook my first every thanksgiving dinner, hopefully it will turn out alright.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Thanksgiving
It's that time of year, the time where you are supposed to sit down and engorge yourself on food that someone else makes, that you don't have to worry about cooking and cleaning, and reflect on all the things you are thankful for. That's how it's supposed to be. darnit. how did I get wrapped up in one big stressful ball about how to cook a turkey and all the side trimmings by myself? All these years of eating other peoples food has left me spoiled. This year, even though I was invited to my stepsisters house by my dad..we had already bought the turkey and planned on a small dinner here with my husband and son. And the bottom line too? we have no money. one account is negative like 200 dollars and the other has like 2 dollars. Even though it may upset my dad, and maybe my extended stepfamily, but I fully support our decision to stay home because we just don't have the gas. And jesse has to drive 45 minutes to and from work for the next few days. He's off on thursday but has to work friday and saturday. So with our limited amount of money I spent all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what kind of traditional thanksgiving meal I can prepare, and how exactly to prepare it. After printing out a bunch of coupons, and scouring the internet for recipes for my moms marshmallow sweet potatoe thingie that jesse loved last year, I have sent my husband on the errand of Publix grocery store after work, and I anxiously await his arrival home tonight and hope that he followed me instructions to the T so that we can have everything we need on our 14 dollar budget I prepared for him with our remaining cash that we had on hand..otherwise I'm going to stress more, and get a hernia. In the midst of the stress about the thanksgiving im preparing for the first time ever, and thinking about the upcoming holiday that arrives way too soon in December and how unprepared we are for it, I'm having a hard time remembering the things that I am thankful for. So here is a short but sweet list of things that I can think of at the top of my head. some of my friends on facebook have been going on a daily "thankful" tangent, every day they list something they are thankful for in their status, I haven't been able to do this because of my lack of a computer..so I will take the time now to list, or try to list, 25 things I am thankful for.
1) my family- my son, husband, my mom, my dad, my grandma, and everyone else.
2) my friends- i've lost touch with so many of them, and so many of them I get the sense that I might have lost them all together. But I am thankful for them, Christina, who recently helped me out in a big way in my time of need a few weeks ago (was it a few weeks ago?) time is flying and getting out of hand. my misfit mom friends, who may provide a light in my dismal christmas coming up, by arranging a angel tree for our misfit moms group, and Stephens name is on it. He may just get a few things on christmas morning.
3) Publix- for their lovely sales and their wonderful .49/lb turkey sale they had a few weeks ago, allowing me to prepare a dinner for my family.
4) Dr. Pepper- for getting me through the last few days
5) My dreams- dreaming about the roomba that I want, and the day that someone invents some kinda ionic scanner thing that you push a button and it automatically sucks dust out of a room so that you don't have to constantly clean dust up.
6) coupons- Dear Coupons, I couldn't have made it through the year without you, my family and their bellies thank you.
7) CVS- see #6 exempting the belly part, and submitting "my family and their underarms and hairy legs and everything else thank you"
8) my dog- because my dog has this internal radar that alerts her to when I'm about to have one big fat slobbery cryfest, and she knows just when to lick or hug me (yes, my dog loves to give hugs)
9) the internet- for which without it, I would never talk to anyone, I am absolutely HORRIBLE about picking up the phone. and the internet is what keeps me in touch with my mom.
10) my turkey roaster- i have no idea how I acquired it, but I love it. It's the bright light of my tomorrow.
11) my mom- I already posted her, but after thinking about it, I wanted to post her on her own separate number. I am thankful for her giving me life, I'm thankful for all that she's done and sacrificed for me, I'm thankful that she's still breathing, I'm thankful for who she is, and that she did her best to raise me right. I'm not thankful for the distance she has between us right now, but I am thankful that she's still there if I need to pick up the phone and call
12) my ipod- even though it's in danger of being pawned so that I can afford that criss cross crash track that stephen wants oh so badly for christmas, I couldn't have made it the past few weeks without it. it was my lifeline, my notquite cellphone, my way of communicating with the outside world.
13) my sons teacher- because she has been so awesome in keeping me up to date in my sons school work, and doesn't mind my many notes and questions I keep putting in his folder
14) unemployment- I debated on this one for a while, because it's what has gotten us through the past few months, but now that it's exhausted it's limitations until lawmakers can extend it, im mad at it.
15) my mother in law- I cant believe it took me so long to think to put her on here..she should be under family, but like my mom, I'd like to put her in a separate category. I'm thankful that she was down visiting and I got to meet her, and we decided to get married, so she was here. I'm thankful for who she is, she is struggling too, but has constantly found a way to help us out when we need it the most. She's always there to help me out when things seem particularly bleak, and is just a phone call away to save jesse when im ready to strangle him. she's what calms me down before I attempt murder. She's one of the strongest people I've had the fortune to meet, and I hope that everyone around her knows what a jewel she is.
16) my chicken- even though I hate birds, since we got her earlier this year, my chicken has totally wormed her way into my heart. She has the personality that makes you laugh when you are down. her coos when you pet her are just as relaxing as a cat's purr.
17.) my husband- it seems so strange to call him that still. It's hard to believe that we got married in may of this year. with all that we've been through it feels like a lifetime. we still have a lot of problems, and after recent problems i've still got my guard up and it doesn't feel the same as it did before, but I know that I've got to be thankful of some of the experiences we shared this year, I'm thankful that when im in full blown PMS mood and I absolutely need a chocolate cake with white icing or a white cake with chocolate icing at 9pm at night, if I smoozle enough, he will go make it. I'm thankful for how he can be around my son. I'm thankful for the good times and how he makes me feel during them
18) chocolate- Dear chocolate- you are the first love of my life, my only weakness, and the reason I probably can't loose these pounds. but I am thankful for the comfort that you give me during those times of the month when chocolate is the only relief.
19) my garage- how did I live life without a garage? How did I live life in an apartment, with no garage? where did all my stuff get put?
20) the library- for all the free books, and free movies you have let me enjoy the past few months. and more recently for the internet that you so lovingly provided to me when I needed it the most. I love you library.
21) cereal- for those times when you have no motivation to cook lunch or anything, a bowl of cereal is just the thing, and so easy to clean up.
22) other peoples drama- i know, drama is bad. b-a-d..but its awesome when its other peoples drama. it takes your mind off your own sorry state of affairs, and makes you realize how wonderful you just might have it, since you aren't nearly as stupid as that other person who did thisandthat or said soandsosaidthis. or whatever.
23) music- the thing that gets me motivated to pick up a broom or dust rag
24)dollar general- for cheap prices of things that you would get for major money somewhere else and for being in walking distance to my house and probably for being the number one place i will do any sort of christmas shopping. too bad the toys are weak and easily breakable and cheap.
25) the number one thing I am thankful for? Stephen of course- no matter what he will become in life, no matter what he does, he will always, ALWAYS be in my heart. if he turns out to be president of the world, I will be there behind him clapping my heart out, if he turns out to be a serial killer, I will visit him in prison. for every smile he gives me, every hug, every kiss, he makes my world shine. all our "mommy and me" moments, all of our reading times at night, or our rockabyebabies. for every tantrum he throws, or tear he sheds, I am thankful for. I am thankful that he's healthy, that he's alive and breathing, I am thankful for every strand of hair on his head. I am thankful he's MINE.
1) my family- my son, husband, my mom, my dad, my grandma, and everyone else.
2) my friends- i've lost touch with so many of them, and so many of them I get the sense that I might have lost them all together. But I am thankful for them, Christina, who recently helped me out in a big way in my time of need a few weeks ago (was it a few weeks ago?) time is flying and getting out of hand. my misfit mom friends, who may provide a light in my dismal christmas coming up, by arranging a angel tree for our misfit moms group, and Stephens name is on it. He may just get a few things on christmas morning.
3) Publix- for their lovely sales and their wonderful .49/lb turkey sale they had a few weeks ago, allowing me to prepare a dinner for my family.
4) Dr. Pepper- for getting me through the last few days
5) My dreams- dreaming about the roomba that I want, and the day that someone invents some kinda ionic scanner thing that you push a button and it automatically sucks dust out of a room so that you don't have to constantly clean dust up.
6) coupons- Dear Coupons, I couldn't have made it through the year without you, my family and their bellies thank you.
7) CVS- see #6 exempting the belly part, and submitting "my family and their underarms and hairy legs and everything else thank you"
8) my dog- because my dog has this internal radar that alerts her to when I'm about to have one big fat slobbery cryfest, and she knows just when to lick or hug me (yes, my dog loves to give hugs)
9) the internet- for which without it, I would never talk to anyone, I am absolutely HORRIBLE about picking up the phone. and the internet is what keeps me in touch with my mom.
10) my turkey roaster- i have no idea how I acquired it, but I love it. It's the bright light of my tomorrow.
11) my mom- I already posted her, but after thinking about it, I wanted to post her on her own separate number. I am thankful for her giving me life, I'm thankful for all that she's done and sacrificed for me, I'm thankful that she's still breathing, I'm thankful for who she is, and that she did her best to raise me right. I'm not thankful for the distance she has between us right now, but I am thankful that she's still there if I need to pick up the phone and call
12) my ipod- even though it's in danger of being pawned so that I can afford that criss cross crash track that stephen wants oh so badly for christmas, I couldn't have made it the past few weeks without it. it was my lifeline, my notquite cellphone, my way of communicating with the outside world.
13) my sons teacher- because she has been so awesome in keeping me up to date in my sons school work, and doesn't mind my many notes and questions I keep putting in his folder
14) unemployment- I debated on this one for a while, because it's what has gotten us through the past few months, but now that it's exhausted it's limitations until lawmakers can extend it, im mad at it.
15) my mother in law- I cant believe it took me so long to think to put her on here..she should be under family, but like my mom, I'd like to put her in a separate category. I'm thankful that she was down visiting and I got to meet her, and we decided to get married, so she was here. I'm thankful for who she is, she is struggling too, but has constantly found a way to help us out when we need it the most. She's always there to help me out when things seem particularly bleak, and is just a phone call away to save jesse when im ready to strangle him. she's what calms me down before I attempt murder. She's one of the strongest people I've had the fortune to meet, and I hope that everyone around her knows what a jewel she is.
16) my chicken- even though I hate birds, since we got her earlier this year, my chicken has totally wormed her way into my heart. She has the personality that makes you laugh when you are down. her coos when you pet her are just as relaxing as a cat's purr.
17.) my husband- it seems so strange to call him that still. It's hard to believe that we got married in may of this year. with all that we've been through it feels like a lifetime. we still have a lot of problems, and after recent problems i've still got my guard up and it doesn't feel the same as it did before, but I know that I've got to be thankful of some of the experiences we shared this year, I'm thankful that when im in full blown PMS mood and I absolutely need a chocolate cake with white icing or a white cake with chocolate icing at 9pm at night, if I smoozle enough, he will go make it. I'm thankful for how he can be around my son. I'm thankful for the good times and how he makes me feel during them
18) chocolate- Dear chocolate- you are the first love of my life, my only weakness, and the reason I probably can't loose these pounds. but I am thankful for the comfort that you give me during those times of the month when chocolate is the only relief.
19) my garage- how did I live life without a garage? How did I live life in an apartment, with no garage? where did all my stuff get put?
20) the library- for all the free books, and free movies you have let me enjoy the past few months. and more recently for the internet that you so lovingly provided to me when I needed it the most. I love you library.
21) cereal- for those times when you have no motivation to cook lunch or anything, a bowl of cereal is just the thing, and so easy to clean up.
22) other peoples drama- i know, drama is bad. b-a-d..but its awesome when its other peoples drama. it takes your mind off your own sorry state of affairs, and makes you realize how wonderful you just might have it, since you aren't nearly as stupid as that other person who did thisandthat or said soandsosaidthis. or whatever.
23) music- the thing that gets me motivated to pick up a broom or dust rag
24)dollar general- for cheap prices of things that you would get for major money somewhere else and for being in walking distance to my house and probably for being the number one place i will do any sort of christmas shopping. too bad the toys are weak and easily breakable and cheap.
25) the number one thing I am thankful for? Stephen of course- no matter what he will become in life, no matter what he does, he will always, ALWAYS be in my heart. if he turns out to be president of the world, I will be there behind him clapping my heart out, if he turns out to be a serial killer, I will visit him in prison. for every smile he gives me, every hug, every kiss, he makes my world shine. all our "mommy and me" moments, all of our reading times at night, or our rockabyebabies. for every tantrum he throws, or tear he sheds, I am thankful for. I am thankful that he's healthy, that he's alive and breathing, I am thankful for every strand of hair on his head. I am thankful he's MINE.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
It's been a while
my computer is still dead, but I managed to get it set up to go back online. It takes forever to do things, and I can only do one thing at a time, but at least it's better than nothing. I've been using my ipod the past few weeks squinting at the screen trying to read things on the internet. so much has happened the past few weeks but really not that much. it's been a rough few weeks. 2010 is close to being over, and I'm really really hoping that 2011 will be way better. I don't feel much like going into it all, I just wanted to write something short and sweet since hopefully, I am back.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Involuntary hiatus
Taking a involuntary hiatus my computer has officially died I'm on my iPod touch right now I wanted to let people know I won't be on the computer for a while we haven't got the money to get a new one but feel free to donate if you are inclined to the Kim needs a computer fund.
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