Thanksgiving

It's that time of year, the time where you are supposed to sit down and engorge yourself on food that someone else makes, that you don't have to worry about cooking and cleaning, and reflect on all the things you are thankful for. That's how it's supposed to be. darnit. how did I get wrapped up in one big stressful ball about how to cook a turkey and all the side trimmings by myself? All these years of eating other peoples food has left me spoiled. This year, even though I was invited to my stepsisters house by my dad..we had already bought the turkey and planned on a small dinner here with my husband and son. And the bottom line too? we have no money. one account is negative like 200 dollars and the other has like 2 dollars. Even though it may upset my dad, and maybe my extended stepfamily, but I fully support our decision to stay home because we just don't have the gas. And jesse has to drive 45 minutes to and from work for the next few days. He's off on thursday but has to work friday and saturday. So with our limited amount of money I spent all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what kind of traditional thanksgiving meal I can prepare, and how exactly to prepare it. After printing out a bunch of coupons, and scouring the internet for recipes for my moms marshmallow sweet potatoe thingie that jesse loved last year, I have sent my husband on the errand of Publix grocery store after work, and I anxiously await his arrival home tonight and hope that he followed me instructions to the T so that we can have everything we need on our 14 dollar budget I prepared for him with our remaining cash that we had on hand..otherwise I'm going to stress more, and get a hernia. In the midst of the stress about the thanksgiving im preparing for the first time ever, and thinking about the upcoming holiday that arrives way too soon in December and how unprepared we are for it, I'm having a hard time remembering the things that I am thankful for. So here is a short but sweet list of things that I can think of at the top of my head. some of my friends on facebook have been going on a daily "thankful" tangent, every day they list something they are thankful for in their status, I haven't been able to do this because of my lack of a computer..so I will take the time now to list, or try to list, 25 things I am thankful for.

1) my family- my son, husband, my mom, my dad, my grandma, and everyone else.
2) my friends- i've lost touch with so many of them, and so many of them I get the sense that I might have lost them all together. But I am thankful for them, Christina, who recently helped me out in a big way in my time of need a few weeks ago (was it a few weeks ago?) time is flying and getting out of hand. my misfit mom friends, who may provide a light in my dismal christmas coming up, by arranging a angel tree for our misfit moms group, and Stephens name is on it. He may just get a few things on christmas morning.
3) Publix- for their lovely sales and their wonderful .49/lb turkey sale they had a few weeks ago, allowing me to prepare a dinner for my family.
4) Dr. Pepper- for getting me through the last few days
5) My dreams- dreaming about the roomba that I want, and the day that someone invents some kinda ionic scanner thing that you push a button and it automatically sucks dust out of a room so that you don't have to constantly clean dust up.
6) coupons- Dear Coupons, I couldn't have made it through the year without you, my family and their bellies thank you.
7) CVS- see #6 exempting the belly part, and submitting "my family and their underarms and hairy legs and everything else thank you"
8) my dog- because my dog has this internal radar that alerts her to when I'm about to have one big fat slobbery cryfest, and she knows just when to lick or hug me (yes, my dog loves to give hugs)
9) the internet- for which without it, I would never talk to anyone, I am absolutely HORRIBLE about picking up the phone. and the internet is what keeps me in touch with my mom.
10) my turkey roaster- i have no idea how I acquired it, but I love it. It's the bright light of my tomorrow.
11) my mom- I already posted her, but after thinking about it, I wanted to post her on her own separate number. I am thankful for her giving me life, I'm thankful for all that she's done and sacrificed for me, I'm thankful that she's still breathing, I'm thankful for who she is, and that she did her best to raise me right. I'm not thankful for the distance she has between us right now, but I am thankful that she's still there if I need to pick up the phone and call
12) my ipod- even though it's in danger of being pawned so that I can afford that criss cross crash track that stephen wants oh so badly for christmas, I couldn't have made it the past few weeks without it. it was my lifeline, my notquite cellphone, my way of communicating with the outside world.
13) my sons teacher- because she has been so awesome in keeping me up to date in my sons school work, and doesn't mind my many notes and questions I keep putting in his folder
14) unemployment- I debated on this one for a while, because it's what has gotten us through the past few months, but now that it's exhausted it's limitations until lawmakers can extend it, im mad at it.
15) my mother in law- I cant believe it took me so long to think to put her on here..she should be under family, but like my mom, I'd like to put her in a separate category. I'm thankful that she was down visiting and I got to meet her, and we decided to get married, so she was here. I'm thankful for who she is, she is struggling too, but has constantly found a way to help us out when we need it the most. She's always there to help me out when things seem particularly bleak, and is just a phone call away to save jesse when im ready to strangle him. she's what calms me down before I attempt murder. She's one of the strongest people I've had the fortune to meet, and I hope that everyone around her knows what a jewel she is.
16) my chicken- even though I hate birds, since we got her earlier this year, my chicken has totally wormed her way into my heart. She has the personality that makes you laugh when you are down. her coos when you pet her are just as relaxing as a cat's purr.
17.) my husband- it seems so strange to call him that still. It's hard to believe that we got married in may of this year. with all that we've been through it feels like a lifetime. we still have a lot of problems, and after recent problems i've still got my guard up and it doesn't feel the same as it did before, but I know that I've got to be thankful of some of the experiences we shared this year, I'm thankful that when im in full blown PMS mood and I absolutely need a chocolate cake with white icing or a white cake with chocolate icing at 9pm at night, if I smoozle enough, he will go make it. I'm thankful for how he can be around my son. I'm thankful for the good times and how he makes me feel during them
18) chocolate- Dear chocolate- you are the first love of my life, my only weakness, and the reason I probably can't loose these pounds. but I am thankful for the comfort that you give me during those times of the month when chocolate is the only relief.
19) my garage- how did I live life without a garage? How did I live life in an apartment, with no garage? where did all my stuff get put?
20) the library- for all the free books, and free movies you have let me enjoy the past few months. and more recently for the internet that you so lovingly provided to me when I needed it the most. I love you library.
21) cereal- for those times when you have no motivation to cook lunch or anything, a bowl of cereal is just the thing, and so easy to clean up.
22) other peoples drama- i know, drama is bad. b-a-d..but its awesome when its other peoples drama. it takes your mind off your own sorry state of affairs, and makes you realize how wonderful you just might have it, since you aren't nearly as stupid as that other person who did thisandthat or said soandsosaidthis. or whatever.
23) music- the thing that gets me motivated to pick up a broom or dust rag
24)dollar general- for cheap prices of things that you would get for major money somewhere else and for being in walking distance to my house and probably for being the number one place i will do any sort of christmas shopping. too bad the toys are weak and easily breakable and cheap.
25) the number one thing I am thankful for? Stephen of course- no matter what he will become in life, no matter what he does, he will always, ALWAYS be in my heart. if he turns out to be president of the world, I will be there behind him clapping my heart out, if he turns out to be a serial killer, I will visit him in prison. for every smile he gives me, every hug, every kiss, he makes my world shine. all our "mommy and me" moments, all of our reading times at night, or our rockabyebabies. for every tantrum he throws, or tear he sheds, I am thankful for. I am thankful that he's healthy, that he's alive and breathing, I am thankful for every strand of hair on his head. I am thankful he's MINE.