a year ago

This year Stephen will be Darth Vader.  first year in forever he hasnt been something with the pirate theme.  earlier, i started thinking about last year and how I actually made his costume.  vs this year, where I had to buy it, cause darth vader to me is just not homemadeable:)  i got on facebook and started browsing my pictures, and got lost in the memories.

 

A year ago today my baby was Captain Jack Sparrow.   I worked hard on the costume and was darn proud.  A year ago I lived in oak hill, with a husband, and a house.  i only had a month left to live in that house, with that husband, and I didn't know it.  that night though, i was insanely happy.  I made my son really happy with that costume.  he still talks about it even today. 

It's amazing though, looking back at the pictures, how much has changed.  I know I got out of a bad bad situation, I know it, but i am nostalgic.  especially as I come up on all these holidays.  it'll be my first holiday really by myself, ever.  i've always lived with someone during the holidays.   tonight is the first time im going out by myself, ever trick or treating with Stephen.  The upcoming months ill be doing everything by myself.  Stephen and I will be decorated for the holidays, shopping for the holidays, all by ourselves.  I'll experience trying to come up with a few presents under the tree for Stephen and trying to find a hiding spot, not to mention how to actually SHOP without him knowing what im buying.  trying to come up with the money on my own, plus pay bills.  no one to really talk to about it, cause lord knows i whine enough to the people I *DO* talk to about it, and im tired of being a whiney baby about money.

The changes this year has been astounding, I don't know why i havent had some major breakdown by now.  If i didnt have bad luck, i'd swear i didn't have any luck at all.  it just goes to show you though, how much life doesn't stay the same, the earth is constantly spinning, and we are spinning along with it.  i dont know what the next few months will bring me, how i will be able to do anything, what will happen, i dont know what next year will bring me.  i wonder if i'll still be here, i don't know.  hopefully the future will be good to me. 

I hope that im still in this area though, i had a parent teacher conference today, and im amazed at all the positive good things she had to say about stephen and how well he's doing.  im going to fight like heck to keep us here..this school district is AWESOME.